Something's wrong...

I LOVE Kathy Griffin's "My Life On The D-List." Seriously, she's a gay man in a woman's body without the gender identity issues. She's not even a fag hag or a fruit fly or just in love with gay men. She's a gay man. Here's some reasons:

1) Binge. Purge. Workout. Binge. Purge. Workout. Sound familiar? Come on now, be honest. She eats tacos! Lots and lots of tacos!

2) Living above our means? That house of hers could house all of Katrina's refugees. How many gay men are paying twice as much rent as they can afford for a place the trick of the night will be impressed with? Not me, but... But, how many gay men's abode's are straight out of Ikea's, Crate and Barrel's or Pier One's "Too Expensive For Normal People" catalog? Everyone. Me? $250 bookshelf to match my 2 $175 four drawer pull-out tan cloth/rattan style drawer set among some other things I don't want to mention. Two hours of furniture shopping and spent a month's paycheck.

3) She thinks Diet Coke tastes good. Gays are predisposed to think Diet drinks and food are tastey. Screw the "finger length," "hypothalamus" and "pheromone" theories, hand a guy a Diet Coke and if Mikey likes it, hand him the Big Gay Pamphlet.

4) Aren't her act and her show just like a group of gay men having a normal conversation? It is. Fess up and just admit it already.

5) Cher. Clay Aiken. Barbara. Joan Rivers. And she hates Star Jones and Jay Leno. "Even the Fab Five is like...'that fag?'" Exactly.

6) All press is good press.

7) Bravo isn't even bi-curious. It's full on Fire Island, Cher-loving, Mykonos-going, 12-month tanning homosexual.

I rest my case.

So, I was watching D-List tonight...and of course taping it as well. I was sitting in my new bean bag chair that is way too comfortable to try to read in, which is why I bought it.

I fell asleep.

I woke up 5 hours later....

...to hear Kathy continue the last sentence I heard before I fell asleep.

"So, my assistant called me the other day..."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Zzzzzzz. Zzzz. Zz. Z.

"...to tell me that Renee Zellweger wanted my address..."

That's freaky. And WRONG on so many levels.

I need to stop watching Bravo.