I've found another great coffee shop on the east side. It's trendy but not pretentious at all. They coordinate community service projects, offer coffee and tea "tours," have open mic nights, poetry readings, artist galleries and all that jazz. And really now...they have a Mission Statement... And the owner is a hottie.
There are a couple of drawbacks, especially now that school has started up again. It'll probably be packed like sardines...or pickles...and good luck finding a table. The parking nazis around the UWM campus are in full force again.
And...
Well...
I'm not one to be an asshole...but who am I kidding?
I dropped by yesterday for a little iced mocha action while my work clothes were in the washer.
Me: "Could I please have an extra large Iced Mocha, no whipped cream, to go?"
Pretty standard. I pulled out a $20 bill and then stuffed a dollar in the tip jar.
(Sidenote: If you're a REGULAR at a certain coffee shop, or you really enjoy going to a certain cafe/coffee shop, you should be tipping at least a dollar to thank the staff for making it, obviously, somewhere you want to go to. If you order a triple shot decaf, extra hot soy milk latte...and you don't tip...well, karma's a bitch. Yes, ALL coffee shop coffee is overpriced. But, none of that money goes into your favorite barrista's pocket. Chances are, except at Starbucks...yuck...your fav barrista doesn't make more than $6.50/hour. If you go to Starbucks...they're getting sweet benefits, so screw them. :) And, if said favorite barrista slips you a little something extra, or the occasional free cup for being such a loyal and appreciative customer, then all that karma balances out.)
Then, Perky Blonde Cashier girl started in on one of the things that makes E.C. endearing.
PBC: "What kind of milk would you like with your coffee?" The owner would be proud.
Me: "2% is fine. Thank you." Gotta live a little every once in awhile.
Cute. I like it. Asking what kind of milk you want in your coffee is courteous. It shows that the place cares about its customers, especially the ones that don't know that you have at least 3 different kinds of milk to choose from.
PBC: "What size was that again?"
Me: "Extra large please. Thanks."
PBC: "Would you like whipped cream?"
Me: "No thank you."
She must be new. I was new at coffee-slinging at one point and I can empathize with the fact that the million and one different ways people want their coffee can be a little overwhelming.
PBC: "Okay, that'll be...$4.12."
Me: "Great." I hand over the $20 bill.
Then, I remembered that I hate carrying change in my wallet. If I have 88 cents in change in my wallet, by the time I get home to drop it in my change container, I'll have...maybe...on a good day...25 cents that hasn't fallen into whatever kind of black hole has been sucking out all my spare change.
Me: "Oh wait, I have...a....quarter." I hand it over, realizing I'm being high maintanence. But, she'll get 13 cents more in a tip.
PBC holds my $20 in one hand and my quarter in the other. She stares at the computer screen that's already telling her...I assume...that I should get back $15.88. I'm just making a guess there. She stares back at the money in her hand and then back at the screen. At some point, she probably estimated...how much easier this would be in Canada.
Oh no. She looks over at the other Eager Barrista.
PBC: "Ummm...what do I do?"
EB: "What are you trying to do?"
PBC: "He gave me a $20 and I punched it in. But then he gave me a quarter."
Maybe you have to enter in the exact amount the customer gives so that...I don't know...the computer will keep track of exactly how many of each denomination would be in the drawer. No, of course that can't be it.
EB: "So what are you trying to do."
PBC: "I don't know how much to give him back."
Did she really just say.....?
EB: "What?"
She did.
EB: "So he gave you $20.25. It costs $4.12."
I waited there so long, I thought of some things I just COULDN'T bring myself to say out loud.
"So how long before Train A passes Train B?"
"This is why I'm not a teacher."
"Sunny day...sweeping the...clouds away....On my way...to where the...air...is...sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to..."
"Today's lesson is sponsored by the letters...give me my damn $16.13."
"How many college students does it take...?"
"beep beep beep...Beeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep....beep beep beep." (Translation: S.O.S.)
"Mr. Rogers always wore two different sweaters. And those hand puppets. Do you remember those hand puppets?"
Instead, I just smiled and giggled pointedly to myself.
Just before PBC's head exploded, I stepped in. I assumed E.C. didn't offer worker's comp or "accidental death by math" insurance, so I figured I'd be the good guy.
Me: "That's okay. I'm sorry. I'll just take back the quarter. Sorry about that."
PBC: "Oh, thank you so much."
Me: "I apologize. I was being high maintanence."
PBC: "Ok, so now I owe you..."
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD.....IT ACTUALLY SAYS IT ON THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU.
PBC: "Oh that's right." She hands over the change.
Believe me, I counted it...again.
EB: "What kind of milk did he want?"
PBC: "Umm, let me see... 2%, I think."
Me: "..."
EB: "Did he want whipped cream?"
PBC: "Umm...yes."
Me: "....??!!??"
At this point, I started taking inventory of my favorite customers during my time at Bella.
Lewis: Small latte with skim milk. Cup of vegetarian soup with wheat roll. Refill of regular coffee.
Hottie blonde Neroli woman: Triple shot decaf soy latte in a small cup.
Fun group of ladies: 2 cups of hot tea (usually Lemongrass and Chamomille), 2 cups of decaf coffee. 1 raspberry filled scone. 1 muffin, usually blueberry.
Architect man with cool glasses: Small orange juice, raisin bagel toasted and a banana.
Tall architect man: Large decaf coffee, no room for cream
Lawyer man: Triple shot espresso.
Two lunch guys: 1 cup chili each, 1/2 turkey bagel sandwich each, 1 cup water each.
Roaming woman: 15 minutes of browsing followed always by small latte, chocolate chip cookie.
So-Cute-Couple: 1 large coffee, 1 coffee in silver insulated cup. Pay by credit card.
Kamakura guys: 1 caramel espresso shake, 1 caramel mocha shake, 1 strawberry banana smoothie, 1 extra chocolate iced caramel mocha.
It's been a year and a half, maybe two years, since I've worked regularly at Bella. I still see some of my favorite customers out in the world and I instantly remember what kind of coffee and food they used to order. Seriously, it's not rocket science. At some point someone will teach a chimpanzee to work in a coffee shop.
The kicker:
PBC to EB: "Wow. I really have to start doing math again now that school's starting up."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment