Everything I need to know I learned in...Illinois, Wisconsin and Hawaii. What? Exactly.

So, I came across this link again.

"You Know You're From (insert state) When..."

Either I know a lot, or I need to just pick ONE damn place to live.

You Know You're From HAWAII When...

- You go to dinner and "make one plate" with all the extra food leftover.
- You automatically take off your shoes in people's homes.
- It's "shave ice" not"snow cones".
- When someone says to "dress up" it means one nice aloha shirt and jeans.
- You went to the War Memorial Stadium parking lot to learn how to drive.
- It's SHOYU, not soy sauce.
- To you, sushi means sushi, not RAW FISH!
- You have a billion pairs of slippers in front your door when your family gets together
- You buy large quantities of toilet paper in case there's a longshoreman strike.
- You don't understand why anyone would buy less than a 20 lb bag of rice...
- You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi
- You know what the "stink eye" is; and how to give it.
- You can correctly pronouce kalanianaole, kalakaua and aiea (and likelike?)
- You give directions using mauka and makai.
- You think 70 degrees is freezing cold
- Rainbow Drive-Inn is a special date.
- When you hear the words "fund raiser", you know it means Zippy's Chili
- You have said "wat, owe you money?", "karang your alas", or "dakine"
- You never understood why adding pineapple and ham to a pizza made it Hawaiian to the rest of the world
- You measure the water for the rice by the knuckle of your index finger
- You go to Maui and your luggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs, guri-guri and fresh saimin from Sam Sato's
- You call everyone older than you "Aunty" or "Uncle" even though they aren't related to you
- You are barefoot in most of you elementary school pictures (and high school...hello?!?).
- You feel guilt leaving a get-together without helping clean up.
- The only time you honk your horn is once a year during the safety check.
- Nobody is sure exactly where "north" is.

You Know You're From ILLINOIS/CHICAGO When...

- You know if someone is from southern, middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.
- When you say "the city" - you mean Chicago.
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
- You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
- "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
- Whenever anyone mentions going out for steak, the first place you think of is Ponderosa.
- You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines"
- You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois.
- People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them.
- You drink "pop."

- You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.
- You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.
- You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.
- You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.
- You expect corruption in local politics.
- You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates. (ummm...can I hear a "You've been caught speeding in Illinois with Wisconsin plates"?)
- You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.
- You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.
- You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.
- You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do
- You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away
- You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"
- You understand what "lake-effect" means
- You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. You have ridden the "L"
- You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815
- You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."
- You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
- It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight
- You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway
- You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
- You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.

You Know You're From Wisconsin/Milwaukee When...

- You can taste a difference in cheese made somewhere else
- You can find and pronounce : Eau Claire, Oconomowoc, Menomonee Falls, Waukesha, and La Crosse, Fond du Lac.
- When the weather hits 0 degrees you decide that maybe it's time to get out a jacket instead of a sweatshirt.
- You know how to make a very good sled out of normal household items.
- You have watched Fargo and not noticed an accent.
- You drive around with the air conditioning on until it hits 30 degrees, because it just was so darn hot outside.
- You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.
- You think everyone from south of Madison has an accent.
- You can identify a Michigan accent.
- Down South to you means Chicago.
- You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.
- You buy cat litter every winter, but you don't own a cat.
- Bucky the Badger hangs on your Christmas tree even if you didn't go to University of Wisconsinm Madison.
- You can use the word "ya der hey" easily in a sentence
- There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning
- You have ever seen or played in a "broom ball" game.
- You know people who have tied dead animals to the hoods of their cars.
- You think "The Safe House" is better than Disneyworld.
- You won't let a car from out of state go faster than you.
- No matter where you go you see the Jesus Car - and can't understand what's coming out the speakers
- To you, Martin Luther King Drive is still 3rd St. and Cesar Chavez Drive is still 16th St

I guess that's a lot to know. All of the above have made life quite confusing at times.

There have been times that I know which accent I'm supposed to be using, but have no idea which accent will come out. Am I in central Illinois? Chicago northside? southside? west side? Wisconsin? northern Wisconsin? western Wisconsin? Michigan?

"I guess it's all aboot the pop you drink at the baarr, hey?"

Sheesh.